It's late in the evening and my mind feels like mush. By that, I mean that I can barely hold a thought steady before it changes to something else and the net effect is a bit like looking at a vastly speeded up movie.
So, I just decide to give up on the heavy thinking and lay back to accept whatever comes along, be it profound or trivial.
I like moments like these. I feel they are a throwback to the existential reverie that I am sure sustained our hunter/gatherer ancestors during those uneventful periods between meals. I have a lot of sympathy for the modern mind; it really has had a lot of very rapid adapting to do over a very short period of evolutionary time. No wonder it chooses to zone out from time to time. No wonder it flips out at other times. It hardly seems fair – the stuff that we have generated in our world for it to deal with. The complexities are only increasing. Will there come a point where we reach the limit and find ourselves living in a self-generated environment that is beyond any hope of understading? In some senses, I think we are already there – much of the stuff of modern life is too involved for the lay mind to understand. Some of it seems too over-developed for anyone to understand.
At some point, I think this is going to matter a great deal. But right now my mind is mush so I can't engage with it at all. Creeping stealthily through this delightful haze is a little thought that tells me that this disengagement is a very important and valuable thing. But I can't explain why.
So I turn to some music – the nocturnes of John Field – and drift away…